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What is this?

I'd say that's a good question. Yes, a mighty fine question. There, I've said it again...

Well....i'm waiting.

Oh goodness, isn't that the nicest thing anyone      has said to me in some time! Waiting for me?          Hmmm, I think me might know a bit about           waiting, waiting and wondering. I have been         for some time, to see if these desires for a                 fool's paradise were ever going to stalk           from my brain-seeds. These old seeds have          been dunked and marinated so                             many...pickled in my drivel, my twaddle,              balderdash...my bull..

I beg your pardon?!

...rubbish! My babble, and claptrap, burble,
blather, gibberish, poppycock, tommy-
rot, piffle, piffledust!

You're making no sense.

Well, who's got time for that? Seriously. Take a walk around a bit. Put your ear to the ground. In fact, I think you've rubbed that nail on it's head
Goldilocks. THIS is something to do with
whimsy, playfulness and yes, contrariety.
Serious and messy business.

If you say so.Wait, who are you?

Oh, I'm nobody really. A mess maker and a can kicker.....but if you must know more.